does-size-matter

Does Size Matter? New Study Says…

Every guy has been told that he’s big enough by a woman he’s dating, and every guy wonders if size truly does matter. As the old saying goes, “it’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean,” or some nonsense like that. Many women focus on the need to connect romantically with a partner, rather than on the raw mechanics of sex… or so it is said. But a new study says that penis size and a host of masculine qualities, such as strength, fertility, and courage, are in fact related, at least in the minds of various women. Specifically, women rate a man as more attractive when he has a larger penis. While the size of a man’s torso was a larger contributing factor, penis size was just as important as height when a woman rated a man’s attractiveness.

So what’s the takeaway from this? Well, when it comes right down to it, women are as superficial as men, and possibly more so. It comes down to how women are wired, genetically. You may not every spend any time thinking about the genetic basis for why you think what you think, or why your lady believes what she believes (or behaves how she behaves), but there’s a school of thought concerning “evolutionary psychology” that compares behavior and beliefs to how we developed as human beings. Female behavior and attitudes (and male behavior and attitudes) go all the way back to the earliest days of people on the planet. In the cave man days, in other words, in prehistoric times, we were shaped by our environment and the needs thrust on us by our primitive existences… and this still affects how we behave today, even though the way we live, and our culture, and our material benefits, are much different than they were at our genesis.

So what does this mean for you? Well, when the first primitive humans appeared, their tasks, and their roles, were dictated by their biology. Because women were the ones who had children, they were tasked with child care and child rearing. This wasn’t some sexist plot to be unfair to women. They were the ones having the babies, they were the ones nursing the babies, and therefore they took care of the babies. Men are bigger and stronger by design. That is their genetic heritage. In ancient times, the fact that men were bigger and stronger made them the warriors, the people who cared for the safety of the tribe generally and of their mates specifically. They hunted for food. They protected the tribe when a treat came in the form of wild animals or in the form of a competing, hostile tribe. You’ve all seen movies like “Clan of the Cave Bear” and things like that about cave-people. You know how this sort of thing works. Over the centuries, this biological division among men and women was reinforced by selective breeding. What that means is that, in true Darwin fashion, the men who were strong enough and healthy enough to fight and stay alive, did so, passing on those stronger genes to their sons and daughters. The men who were too weak to fight and survive, or too weak to find a mate and protect her, either lost their mates and children, or never got the chance to have children at all. The result was that their genetic bloodlines were lost to history, while the bloodlines of the stronger humans were passed on, generation after generation. This reinforced the genetic difference between the sexes.

Something interesting happened, though, in the way this biological and genetic heritage affected the way men and women approach relationships and finding someone of the opposite sex. This is true even today. The genetic reasons for our ancient behavior effect what we do now, even if we no longer need or recall those motivations. A man in ancient times selected women who could reliably be believed to carry his children to term. For that he needed a strong, healthy, fit woman. Our desire for, and our fascination with, extremely fit women is built on this genetic impulse. So it is that ancient man chose his women for their attractiveness. On some level, the genetic combination that produced a good looking, healthy, well-proportioned, well endowed woman who was in good shape was the most obvious choice for a man looking for a woman who could pass on his genes. He needed a woman strong enough to give birth to his child, and then strong enough to survive childhood so she could nurse the child and raise it. After all, he had wooly mammoths to deal with; he couldn’t be spending his time taking care of his offspring. With the average life span of human beings at the time being somewhere between twenty and thirty, there wasn’t much time for him to get things done, either. He pretty much had to strike while the iron was hot if he wanted to be able to pass on his genetic legacy. And he had to be able to fight well in order to secure his prize, because the most desirable females were desirable to other members of his tribe — and could be taken away by others who wanted them.

This is pretty much a formula for a man to choose his woman based on how attractive she is. By contrast, a woman in ancient times had to choose a mate based on how tough he was, how well he could provide for her, and how well he could keep her from harm. If a bigger, stronger male came along and destroyed her protector, if she was desirable, he might take her for his own. This would be seen as entirely fair and equitable, something to be expected. And if a woman made her way up the chain from a weaker male to a stronger male, she was essentially bettering her position in the tribe. The stronger the male she was with, the better off she was, and moving on up the chain meant always making herself more safe and more secure. What better to foster the care of children, and getting them to grown up status, than the protection of the strongest available male member of the tribe? That’s the way it worked in ancient times. Now, obviously, there were always exceptions. People have always been people and they are not necessarily always logical or rational. Yet they can be relied on always to return to their human nature, and that’s what this genetic legacy teaches us. So we then have to ask ourselves: What conclusion can we draw about modern relationships based on this ancient genetic legacy? Well, that’s a pretty obvious one, and even to this day, it informs how men and women behave with regard to each other.

A man today in the modern world, regardless of his age, regardless of his power, regardless of his station in life, his wealth, his resources, will always pick the most attractive woman. As long as she is young, firm, well endowed, and beautiful, he won’t care about almost anything else, all things being equal. As long as she’s not actively unpleasant or bad for him, and sometimes even if she is, if she is hot enough, he will choose her. A man doesn’t care if an attractive woman is the same class, the same station in life, or anything of the sort. He doesn’t care if she has money. He doesn’t care if she has power. He doesn’t care if she has a good job, or a good family. All he cares about is whether she is physically desirable. He doesn’t choose her because she can give him anything but her superb body, and that is the first thing he sees when he looks at her. Now, that’s a generalization and every guy is different, but overall, that’s how guys choose their women. Have you ever heard a group of guys talking about a woman they all think is attractive? They don’t exactly talk about how much money she makes… or if they do, it is secondary to how attractive she is. You sometimes see young, fit men dating much older women who have resources to offer them, and sometimes this is done with a deliberate eye towards enriching themselves, but on the whole, men don’t usually date a much less attractive woman who is older if those men are themselves attractive and desirable. There is the “cougar” phenomenon, yes, but that is still based on how attractive older women can be. The result is that men always choose a woman for attractiveness first, all other factors being equal. So what about the women?

Well, women are kind of interesting that way. You see, women don’t necessarily choose a man for attractiveness first, at least not according to the same genetic heritage we’ve been talking about. They choose, even today, to pick men who can provide for them. The better the provider, the more likely they are to select a man. That means, in today’s world, that they go for men with resources first. Now, that doesn’t mean there are not other considerations, and of course women are no more consistent than men are (probably less so). But the fact is that women will choose men who have more resources over men who have less, all other things being equal. Have you ever wondered why so many attractive women seem to be attracted to older, unattractive men? It’s because those men have money. Men with fortunes never lack for beautiful women to surround themselves with. These women are always attracted to the vast resources that wealthy man have. It’s safe to say that an attractive man can secure the company of beautiful women, especially when he is young and in his prime… but men who are past their physical prime, who are old, out of shape, or otherwise less than physically desirable, had better have money if they want to get any attention from women. But that’s where the old genetic heritage comes into play. Women will not just choose a man who has resources… they will actively move on up from a man with lesser resources to a man with greater resources, or a man with similar resources who is more attractive and more desirable… and on and on. This is a concept called “hypergamy,” and it basically means that a woman will always abandon a man and leave him for a “better” man because she thinks she is improving her standing in life and the options and resources she, and any children she might have, will have access to.

If this sounds a little worrisome to you, it should. What hypergamy basically means is that every woman is disloyal to her man. And honestly, any man who has ever had to come home from a long day at work and tell his woman that he has been laid off or fired has experienced this attitude from his woman. Stop and think about it for a moment. The typical man who loses his job may be a little worried about the future, but if he is single, he just adjusts to the hardship and deals with it. It’s only him that has to suffer through it, so if he misses some meals, or his credit score suffers, what does he care? He’ll just cope with it and get through it, and he may suffer some loss of identity or some depression over his job woes, but at least it will only be himself that is accountable. Now, take the same man who has a wife or girlfriend. When he comes home and tells that wife or girlfriend that he has lost his job, what is going to happen? Is she going to be supportive, and tell him she’ll help him through this, even offer to get a different job, or a second job, to help them see their way through the temporary financial crisis? Does she comfort him and help build up his confidence so that he can look for another job with a positive attitude? We’re guessing that as you read that description, you’re laughing pretty hard… because no woman has ever reacted that way in the history of time to the news that her man had lost his job.

No, women always behave as if the man has personally let them down when factors beyond his control conspire to deprive him of his livelihood, even temporarily. She’ll yell at him. She’ll criticize him. She’ll let him know that he is an unstable, inconsistent provider. She’ll basically let it be known how disappointed she is, and her emotional punishment of him has one purpose alone: To put him on notice. She is basically telling him that she expects him to be able to provide for her and that he had better get his act together. If he can’t put it together, if he can’t provide for her, she will move on to another man. She will rationalize it, of course. Suddenly she will reveal that she “just isn’t happy” and that there are things about their relationship that need to be different. She will discover a new-found desire to focus on all manner of issues between the two of them, in fact. Suddenly he will find himself on the receiving end of a great deal of issues and problems that he never knew existed. The end result will be, at the end of it all, that she leaves him. This will happen whenever a man who was a provider suddenly becomes less so. If he gets injured, if he gets sick, if there are forces external to him that take away his ability to provide for his woman… none of these matter. She will abandon him the moment she thinks he cannot provide for her… and if there is stigma associated with leaving immediately, such as if he gets sick with a serious, long-term illness, then she will wait just long enough to make it seem it wasn’t his illness that drove her away. But leave she will, because women are never supportive of men who cannot be strong. Women desire strength in men above all things. If a man becomes weak, they will leave him.

Look at popular culture. Look how seldom women are supportive of their men in any sort of crisis on any fictional television show. The genre of show doesn’t matter. On sitcoms, women exist to tell men how stupid they are, and scold them until the men comply with the women’s wishes. On action shows, women exist to get angry at men for doing what they must do, and reluctantly taking those men back (or not) when these men of adventure are successful. Women are always less than supportive of their men regardless of the scenario. These are fictional, scripted shows, but the people writing them know women and knows the natures of women. They are writing what they believe to be the most believable. They know that a woman who was very supportive of a man wouldn’t be believable, and the audience would be taken out of the adventure too easily. So they write what they know, and they write what is realistic. They write of women who are never supportive of their men. This makes perfect sense. It’s simply the way things are. As much as we might think that’s an unfair way to view things, it’s the way the world works.

But that brings us back to the study. According to the study, there are superficial traits that women value. They value things like penis size and they aren’t ever particularly forgiving of a man who doesn’t measure up. Think about that for a minute. When a couple fights, what is the first the woman does? She says things to her man that he can never forget, things that will bother him in the future even if the couple makes up and isn’t fighting anymore. She’ll attack his prowess in bed, knowing how important that is to him. And she’ll tell him that his penis is small and unsatisfying, knowing that this is a quality he cannot change. Now, yes, she may later tell him she was only angry and that she did not mean it, but he will be bothered by her comments for the rest of his life. A man who has his manhood impugned will never forget the experience and, no matter how much he tells you he has forgotten comments like that, will always remember them. It will bother him every time he is about to be intimate.

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